Family Advices
(Continuation – read at the Society on January 20th, 1860 – see January issue of the Review)
My dear children, in my preceding instructions I advised you with calmness and courage; however, not all of you show them as you should. You must consider that apologies do not mitigate pain. On the contrary, it tends to increase it. A good advice, a good word, a smile, a simple gesture gives strength and courage. A drop of tear softens the heart instead of hardening it. Cry, if your heart drives you to that but may it happen in solitude and not in the presence of those who need all of your energy or strength which a single tear or a sigh of sadness may diminish and weaken. We all need encouragement and nothing better than a friendly voice, a benevolent look, and a word from the heart. When I advised you to get together it was not to gather your tears and sufferings; it was not to drive you to the prayers which only demonstrate good intention but to unite your thoughts, your collective endeavors; so that you could mutually advise one another, and as a group you must try to triumph over the obstacles instead of sharing your sadness. A beggar will ask God for his subsistence in vain since it shall not fall from heavens. He must work and however little he may get that will have a greater value than all prayers. Useful work is the most pleasing prayer to God, whatever the work is. I repeat: the prayer only demonstrates a good intention, a good feeling; however it only produces a moral effect, because it is all moral. It is excellent as a consolation to the soul because the soul that sincerely prays finds relief to their moral sufferings. Outside of these effects and those which come from the prayers, as I have explained to you on other instructions, you must wait for nothing, since you will meet deception. Then, follow exactly my advices. Do not be content in asking God to help you. You must help yourselves and that is how you will demonstrate the authenticity of your prayers. In fact, it would be too easy to just ask for something in your prayers to have it granted. It would be the greatest stimulus to laziness and to the neglect of the good deeds. I could elaborate even further about it but it would be too much for you. Your level of advancement does not accommodate it. Think about this instruction, as about the preceding ones, for those are intended to occupy your minds for a long time. They have the embryonic teachings of everything which you shall learn in the future. Follow my previous advices.
Allan Kardec
